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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2016

    Default Continued abstinence following bereavement

    Hi - my name is Richard and I have been abstinent from alcohol for four years now thanks to help from the good people at SMART. I used to facilitate the UK Sunday evening online meeting some time ago.

    Many of us are going through tough times at the moment and sometimes as a result there can be temptation to return to our old lifestyle. For me the hardship has been the death of my Mother on 8th April, in a nursing home here in Cardiff, UK. The cause of death is 'acute respiratory failure in a Covid-19 environment' and I have had feelings of sadness and anger in equal measure. I have thought at times of drinking but only as a memory of how I would have chosen to deal with my feelings in my previous life. I have also felt a sense of relief that at no time have I seriously considered drinking, or seen alcohol as an answer to anything. In fact, far from being a negative it has been a positive as it has confirmed for me the solid foundation on which my recovery is built.

    I realised that one of the few pleasures my Mother had in her later years was seeing her son living a happy, dignified, sober, and fulfilling life in a loving relationship. This has proven to further reinforce my motivation to continue with that life as she would have wanted and in so doing to create a lasting legacy for her. In that small way, perhaps something good can come from her loss, and something bad can be turned into something good. Maybe by choosing to think differently we can all choose a different outcome, since thoughts lead to feelings which in turn lead to behaviours.

    Good luck everyone and remember that you are not helpless, you have the power and you have the choice.


  2. #2


    So sorry for your loss Richard. Thank you for a really inspiring post.

  3. #3


    So sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Vancouver, Canada


    What a beautiful testament to your Mother, BRAVO

    I can't always make it better but I don't have to make it any worse.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2005


    Hi Richard

    I'm so sorry for your loss in the middle of so much more tension and loss around the world. Your sobriety is certainly built upon a solid foundation and you are so right...we always have the power and the choice. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story.

    Best to you.
    "The central human drama is not wanting the experience we are having"

  6. #6


    I'm sorry for your loss - what you have written here is beautiful, and inspiring indeed.

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