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  1. #1

    Default Just passed 2 years

    My paternal family history includes a lot of drinking; pretty close to every male in living memory, as I grew up, had a 'drinking problem.' On my mothers side, both of my grandparents drank too much.

    I watched my father sink into a dark hole, lose jobs, do and say terrible things....much like HIS father.

    So naturally I got blackout drunk on the street at 14. Just to be clear, that is dark humor.

    My drinking ebbed and flowed, and I succeeded in many ways while still drinking. But the drinking became steady, nightly, heavier, more filled with binges, planning for drinking, drinking AT problems and conflicts. Drinking AT life, AT depression....make it go away drinking.

    It was, in some ways, a form of self harm behavior. I knew very well the cost, the destruction, the dangers. I would sometimes say a phrase in my head: 'You are nothing, not worth saving.'

    My wife and I were drinking partners. We drank together nightly. She drank too much, and I drank more. We kept trying to quit, and one of us would cave in a few days, and round and round we went.

    A little over two years ago, a niece was in late pregnancy. Her mother has been drinking to blackout daily since she was a child. In the course of looking at her situation, and considering what to do, we had to look at ourselves more candidly.

    When the niece went into labor, we visited the hospital. Her mother wasn't there, not planning to come, not able to care. I didn't want to 'be that person', and I knew that in critical ways, I already was.

    I walked out of the hospital very determined, but at a loss for how to get support.

    My wife and I had gone to an AA meeting, but for a variety of reasons, it was a poor fit for us both. Then she found SMART, and signed up. I looked over her shoulder at the forums, at the ideas behind SMART, and created an account right away.

    For myself, reading forum threads off and on has been a big part of my recovery process. Thinking through my own self talk, my beliefs and assumptions about myself, others and the world has been trans-formative.

    The decision to be true to my values and goals, and to be ready to reevaluate them, was a huge part of building and keeping my motivation. It's a lifelong process, but I'm doing the work that makes success in moving toward my goals more likely.

    There are several cognitive tools used here at SMART that are useful. Ways to dispute negative perceptions, impulses, behaviors, beliefs. The idea is to figure out what helps YOU help YOU, then do it. There's a lot of community support in this process.

    I've also found that the ideas and practices of mindfulness have been a great help in growing toward the person I want to be.

    Alcohol has no place in my life. I don't feel any desire at all to drink. It has no value for me. I have more important things to do.

    “Men are disturbed not by the things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen." Epictetus

  2. #2


    GregR. Thank you for posting this. Your progress and your thoughtful comments and kind suggestions on this website have helped me tremendously, and I am sure many others. I suspect that quitting drinking was one of the very best choices and changes you have ever made!


  3. #3


    Thanks gila!

    It's a process I was ready for.... Would have been nice a lot earlier, but it's still a nice surprise.

    “Men are disturbed not by the things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen." Epictetus

  4. #4


    Great job and awesome advice!! I just downloaded the SMART app and im so happy to find so many more tools available! The forum has definitely been a huge help! Keept it up!

  5. #5
    LMR555's Avatar
    LMR555 is offline Former SMART Super Moderator
    Former SMART MB Liaison
    Former SMART Online Facilitator
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Southwest Fl


    WooT Woot!! Gregr,

    Congratulations on 2 years! I really enjoyed reading this post! So many points that you made stuck out. I was going to quote you but it is just better to reread your whole post!

    Best to you and your family,
    Lmr555 Lorrie
    "Discover the Power of Choice!"

    “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” – Chinese Proverb

    Join the team as a SMART Message Board Volunteer!! It can encourage growth and joy. Or support with a donation

  6. #6


    Thanks DnK, Lorrie!

    “Men are disturbed not by the things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen." Epictetus

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2008


    I'm proud of you and NWGal, and greatly appreciate your insights here.
    I'm not telling you it is going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it.

  8. #8


    So wonderful, gregr. Thank you for being here to share that with the rest of us.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2014


    Hi gregr,
    Such inspiration! In 17 months from now I hope to be posting the same successCongrats!

  10. #10


    Thanks guys!!

    One year milkshake on Wednesday for Mel!! Maybe a kale shake....or maybe something less green.
    “Men are disturbed not by the things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen." Epictetus

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2014


    I stumbled onto these success stories this afternoon. So inspirational to read. It's wonderful, as a newcomer and a beginneer with SMART, to read these stories. Thank you for sharing your story.
    “There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.” Leonard Cohen

  12. #12


    You are very welcome!

    I still think some days about how much more clear headed I feel. Even on days with too little sleep, and irrational thoughts buzzing around, about work..... I wonder at the difference.

    Have a great day!
    “Men are disturbed not by the things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen." Epictetus

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