1 year sober finally 3-20-14

**sarah7072** · March 30, 2015, 9:57 AM

Hello all
My name is Sarah and I am 42 years old I am married have been for 20+ years I have 5 children who have been through it all and still love me still my support Team and are still there for me everyday. Back in 2010 my father passed away and I got my second DUI right over a year's time and that was still not a wake up call for me. I paid the fine I went through the motions took the classes live with the humiliation and was able to get my license back theoretically January 1st 2012. yes they were revoked so there's a lot of red tape I would have had to went through to get them back. I never bothered to go through that final step because I knew I was not done drinking I was I suppose responsible enough to know I wasn't responsible enough to have a license because I knew I would still get behind the wheel of a car if I had a driver's license.For the first year my children still had the car keys because every time I drank I would want to drive out to my fathers house to visit him because when I drink I would pretend or in my head he was still alive. You see my mother died from cancer when I was 15 and any of you who had a loved one died of cancer knows they do not die a pretty death.When I started drinking I was 15 watching my mother die. I am 10 out of 11 children so it was extremely lonely for my younger brother and I as we were pushed aside when she passed away as the older children felt as if we almost had no right to feel the loss as they did. so when it came to our Father my younger brother and I were the only ones extremely close to him because the others almost blamed him because in their mind it should have been him. but I digress.I did not drink for most of my children's childhood but as my children got older and as my father who is 50 years older than me got more feeble I did start to drink more as I saw his mortality. once my father passed in January of 2010 my first DUI I received in late 2009 the second was in late 2010 I quit drinking August 2013 altogether and March 20th 2014 I did slip up and I got drunk and thank God I recorded myself and I have not touched a drop since then. not only have I promised myself but I've promised my children and anytime I feel like drinking I replay that recording to myself and it takes away urge that I am more goal oriented I am 100% more focused and family oriented I'm looking for a house to buy, my daughter looking at colleges, my sons in college my oldest son is pregnant with twins with his girlfriend my life is nowhere where it was and now having not had my license since 2010, not having a drink in a year I am ready within my heart love in my mind to get my license back to get a part time job although I don't need one to become be able to take my children out to eat without having to have them drive, me to take my youngest to the park without having to ask my oldest to drive us just to feel like a grown productive woman again I just to feel complete that is my goal I have made this day this past week this past month this past year and I hope I make it through tomorrow and I can. I don't do support much outside of my family doctor whom I talk to quite a bit and a few friends but I have maintained my sobriety in that works for me and I believe that what works for one person may not work for the next person but I believe that whatever works that's the the goal the goal for me to go for you whether it be drinking or gambling or overeating under eating we all want what works for us there is no magic bullet I'm happy today my family is happy and I just prayed that tomorrow I can reread this and I'm still in the same place thank you for listening or reading since I talk to text because I don't text well hahaha have a great day.

**jtoy** · March 30, 2015, 2:35 PM

Congratulations, Sarah!

**df2** · March 30, 2015, 7:30 PM

Good job Sarah!

**Ch2n** · March 30, 2015, 10:11 PM

wow, thanks for sharing your story Sarah, and congratulations on your anniversary!

**wildSaffy** · March 31, 2015, 1:46 AM

Well done Sarah - you sound like you are in a good place. There is a lot of support here - stick around!

**komoto** · March 31, 2015, 6:16 AM

Congrats on your new life. I"m sure your family and friends are happy for you also. You spoke of your parents. My parents have been gone for along time. However, I am positive that they would so happy that I stopped my addiction. I"m gonna bet yours would be also. Thanks for sharing.

**~~Celestina~~** · March 31, 2015, 7:38 AM

With proper sobriety it feels like you have a new pair of eyes. You have a clear and concise way to navigate the future and whatever obstacles life may lay in front of you.

**curly_sue** · March 31, 2015, 1:14 PM

Sarah, congratulations on your year! What a wonderful turnaround you have achieved. Keep it up you have beautiful kids to live for!

**Amelialinea** · April 1, 2015, 11:01 PM

Wow Sarah, thank-you for posting your amazing story. I am amazed at how brave you have been and what a survivor you are. It is cool to hear the back story of someone I have talked to in chat. It only gets better from here...life minus booze = a better life all around. Take care and keep it up! Kind Regards, Amelia.

**vickimz** · April 3, 2015, 9:16 AM

Congratulations Sarah,

What an inspiring story of your successful journey in recovery!

**AnneBlanc** · April 4, 2015, 9:29 AM

Originally Posted by Celestina

With proper sobriety it feels like you have a new pair of eyes. You have a clear and concise way to navigate the future and whatever obstacles life may lay in front of you.

What's "proper" sobriety? First time on this site.

**~~Celestina~~** · April 4, 2015, 9:37 AM

Originally Posted by AnneBlanc

What's "proper" sobriety? First time on this site.

For me it is when you are truly putting forth an effort in your recovery and in sobriety. You want to be sober and are using tools, resources, what have you, to maintain that.

PS. Welcome to SMART Anne.

**vickimz** · April 5, 2015, 7:30 AM

What is "proper sobriety"?

Proper sobriety has been the unfolding of the "real, authentic me". After working my way out of the depths of despair and addiction utilizing the tools of SMART Recovery I have created a lifestyle of what I have longed for yet alluded me. No longer do I find peace in a bottle nor a pill, the sense of peace and freedom comes from within my being. I have worked long and hard to achieve this state of being and it is worth every bit of the effort! SMART ROCKS yet we have to use it!

**Trudy2013** · April 5, 2015, 9:16 AM

Wow sarah! Thank you for sharing. There is so much in this post that makes me simply say wow! Congrads!

**TR45** · April 5, 2015, 8:42 PM

Thanks for sharing. You are awesome.

- - - Updated - - -

I also appreciate you taking the time to share with us.

**Smith84** · June 18, 2015, 4:50 AM

It’s not that simple to define proper sobriety but you have quite beautifully explained it and you should put efforts in recovery. Even my friend who works with a DUI attorney Los Angeles told me it’s quite difficult to get out of 2nd DUI and Sarah you have done a stupendous job!

**mrfun4000** · August 19, 2015, 4:27 PM

Way to go Sarah. Many more great years to follow filled with family and love.

**Ch2n** · August 23, 2015, 10:48 AM

Thanks for sharing your story, congratulations!

Cheryl

Thread: 1 year sober finally 3-20-14

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