Resisting Urges in Tough Times

[AdrienneSimsalot]

Hey all. I have a month clean today!

In the past month:

My house got sold and they were trying to force me out without 30 days

My gas got shut off

My electricity got shut off

My dog got hurt (she's ok) and there's some pretty big vet bills

I got denied for social security

I got denied for food stamps

and general life of having a mental illness and the stuff everyone deals with.

BUT GUESS WHAT

I didn't get high, drunk, or engage in self-harming behaviours!

~~~~~

I've used SMART tools like Urge Surfing, CBA, HOV, ABC, and Change Plan.

I attended meetings, both SMART and NA/AA

I stayed in touch with my treatment team, like therapist and social worker, and took my medications as directed.

I practised self-care, including hot showers, deep breathing and meditation, naps, tasty food treats, and petting and spending time with my dog and cats.

I talked to people! Family, friends, online peeps...even when I felt so bad that I thought no one would ever want to talk to me.

I spent time with my nephews, too! They love me so much, and I try to think of the person that they know me as and realize that that person is really me, even if they don't know all the parts. This is who I am now. It reminds me that I'll be a good foster then adoptive parent once my life is together and more stable.

I had a sense of humor! The candle ambiance is kind of nice at night, right? Plus, I'm reading and writing by booklight instead of using all my time on the computer.

Also I've been proactive and tried to get something done each day, like a meeting and/or packing, cleaning, or even just going out for coffee.

~~~~~

That's not to say I haven't been struggling. Sometimes I eat too much. Sometimes I pick at my face and pull out my eyelashes and eyebrows, while reading, and I don't realize until later. I'm smoking a lot of cigarettes.

But things are still great, considering!

With SMART, things I've learned in intensive therapy, and f2f 12-step meetings, I'm doing well. Like, whoa. Whoa.

Thanks everyone. If you read this far, thank you again!

[joany600]

WOW! Congratulations on a successful month. You can do this---and are inspiring me. THANKS!

[LMR555]

Awesome Ethan!! Thank you for sharing!!

[Peg1960]

Excellent Ethan,
Thanks for sharing
Peg

[Jenn22]

Amazing job!
I have a question, how do you find aa & this together do you find it beneficial or contradictory in any way. Thanks I'm now in both and was wondering if they're going to work against each other.

[hedggehogg]

Love the positive stuff here - Only 12 days here - even small stuff freaks me out - but there's hope and I don't feel like death/dying anymore -

Thanks for the inspiration, Ethan - We're not in this alone !!

Grateful Regards -
Andy

[OddPhd]

I've been clean and sober off and on for 22 years in AA. I relapsed, my sponsor says go to more meetings, read the big book. My trouble with AA, bless it for all of the good it does; its the same old remedies, stories, people, faces, stories, stories, stories over and over and over again that are boring the **** out of me while at the same time I am filled with shame, the emphasis is on my brokeness, my -olic and I am so much more than that. Just griping. No pills for 3 days, grumpy

[shelly808]

Wheres the "LIKE" button!!! good for you. :-) The discipline seems like work in the beginning but I personally think it's really just practicing loving yourself. Keep remembering that you are worth it!

[Melbee]

Thank you for posting. I am learning its not always being happy or smiling or even feeling good. It's being ok and survivng the grouchy, irritability and waves of bad feelings anxiety and sadness. Its ok to have emotions. Those won't kill you. The more practice I get at it the more I know what doesn't kill me truly does make me stronger. Good job and keep it up!

[ann_hak]

Congratulations! Way to be self empowered!

[honolulu68]

OddPhd!

I can totally relate to you and ur AA story. I (by being blessed and fortunate) went to AA and NA for 15 years and have been abstinent for 4 years too. For a total of 19 yrs total. My mom was 35 years sober when she passed in '11 and was always dragging me to meetings. I was going to go to an NA meeting today but decided to come back to SMART. I agree totally about the same stories and peeps.

We are in this together. Hope ur still pill free as of today.

[Alicity83]

This is so inspiring. It is so empowering learning how to deal with stress in healthy ways. For me my daily river walk, meditation and affirmations have helped me stay focused. For depression I have been using vitamin B, Bach Flower remedies and binaural beats. Thank you for your message.