33 Years Today!

[curly_sue]

Hi JVB,
I read this again and find it very interesting and thoughtful. Thank you for all you have done for Smart. Many of us look up to you, although you might not be aware of it. I got a chuckle this morning about "even some of the slogans made sense." I also sort of sifted through AA maxims and only upon leaving there found they had some basically good ideas hidden in a pile of strange ones. Hope you are doing well and finding joy in life.
CS

[Soughted]

i know everyone deserves it your experience is such an inspirational story.. congratulations

[birdfeeder]

So Awesome ! Always enjoy your meetings....Great Job !

[RaeBae1990]

Wow thank you so much for sharing. I'm very new to recovery and your insight was beautiful and needed in my journey. Thank you again and congratulations for everything you have accomplished.

[StevieC]

Congrats and thanks for sharing your story. Your core message is essential- recovery is about dealing as best I can with life as it is. And thanks for a compelling defence of the power of rational thought in recovery. As an atheist myself I never really connected with 12 step programmes, but like you I valued the community there at one point in my life.

[pixley]

So sorry for the loss of your puppies. Your story is very inspiring. I to have had back surgery. Of all the surgeries I have had, that one was the most painful. So I am sorry you had to go through that. Your last 4 years have been a ****storm. I'm filing for disability, this is my 3rd try. I have nerve damage in my legs, residual effects from going through treatment for cancer. I've had a dozen or so surgeries, double mastectomy, total hysterectomy, and the back surgery were the largest of them. I respectfully totally disagree with your atheistic belief. I have had personal experiences with spiritual matters. I'd like to say I have been touched and healed by God. 2x touched, one time healed. But it could have been Jesus, my guardian Angel, perhaps a deceased family member. Idk who it was since I didn't see. Neither time was I using, lol. I was very young the first time and pregnant and 19 the 2nd time. The peace, love, warmth and euphoria I felt both times were like a beautiful explosion. I felt a hand on my shoulder in an empty room while I was alone, crying, and praying. My tears turned to tears of joy. I have never felt love and peace so strong except for those two times. I remember going through my cancer at 38 almost mad and definitely confused as to why I wouldn't be touched and healed again. So sure I was/am in his existence. Some things we just have to go through. So I would definitely rethink your stance. God is real.

I hope things get better for you. Awesome about Tai Chi. I bought a dvd, have watched you tube videos and checked out library books on tai chi. Everything, but actually exercising to it, lol. I wonder why I am grossly overweight now. As a younger woman I was in the military, used to be very active and very fit. I feel the depression of your story. It's hard to be so competent and useful, to fall to the need of disability and help from others. As for me and my ego, they are strongly suffering the effects. The precancer me and the post cancer me are two different people. My cognition has suffered greatly due to chemotherapy and my drug of choice, alcohol. But I remember being quick witted, smart and all over better. This morning I went to turn on a light in the kitchen that was already turned on, lol. How is that for quick witted, lol. My poor husband went through cancer, chemo and radiation last year and now he is having similar issues. He went outside to turn his vehicle around to attach the trailer, when he came back in a few minutes later he couldn't find his keys. Obviously, and as he realized a few seconds later. They were still in the car where he had meant to leave them. We both laughed it off, and said in ten years we are going to be quite the pair of airheads, lol. Before his cancer he thought I was exaggerating my memory loss and not being able to finish conversations, because I couldn't remember words, etc., since his treatment, he now has the same issue. I wish he could have went on feeling superior. It really bothers him as much as it bothers me. But I think the ego of men can sometimes be a little larger or more soul effecting than a woman's. Especially middle age to older women, because well as being female, before the women's lib was catching on, we had to get used to a certain amount of others thinking us inferior. That's a different conversation. Anyways, I hope things get better for you. The right doors open and healing takes place. Have a great day. Thank you for sharing your life and experiences. Sometimes I don't like the word "story", to me it sometimes implies fiction almost. Even though it is not. Story just doesn't do life experiences justice.

[ExecDirSusan]

Thank you for sharing, JvB!

Inspiring. Uplifting. Encouraging.

Recovery brought you to SMART and YOU found the ability to improve the lives of countless others through the work you do here.

A hearty handshake and much appreciation for all you have done and continue to do each day.

-Susan

[cgnomore]

I don't even know how I stumbled upon this but I am very glad I did. I don't expect to make it to 33 years of sobriety as I am fairly certain I won't live that long. It is an incredible milestone and I celebrate your achievement. This site has been a lifeline for me. I can't even remember how many first seven days I went through to get to where I am now. The tools and support here are amazing and fit my way of thinking in general. I am very analytical but also very emotional at times. I am not an atheist so not the reason I am here, but I respect all of you out there who use this web site primarily for that reason. Being sober and able to confront your life head on is more important than any gift......... ever. I hope there are more programs like this that are developed that may fit the needs of others who are struggling. We all need help in one way or another and I for one am very grateful for the help from everyone associated with SR and especially those who have extended words of encouragement to me and so many others. Thank you for sharing your words of inspiration JvB, thank you very much.

[Operator]

Very, very inspiring to read this... Thank you so much. I've often heard from people in 12 step programs that they think it is impossible to put together long term sobriety without AA/NA so this is a huge testament to the fact that that's completely false. It's all about how much you fit with the program you're trying to work and make sure you're actually working it.

[vickimz]

Jvb,

Congratulations 33 is AWESOME and I hear 34 is up and running. You are a wonderful asset to the SROL Community!

As a person in their 60's with disabilities I can relate yet when I think of people like Stephen Hawkins I feel inspired and grateful. All we can do is the best with what we've got and sometimes it sucks!

Again CONGRATULATIONS! You are dynamite!!

[Legs1331]

Thank you very much. I think that it is important to remind everyone especially new soberees that not using doesn’t mean that your life won’t have bumps. I appreciate being reminded this is about learning how to deal with life without using. I am new to SMART and it is such a relief to find some useful tools rather than slogans. Everyone needs to find what works for them to stay clean. Thank you again. Congrats on your years.

[Questor7]

Hi JvB. wow, I just re-read what you posted when you were 33 years years sober. Now you're coming up on 36 years in January, right? I probably won't live long enough to have that many years sober but I'm giving it everything I've got.

I'll never forget when I was at your online meeting and I was complaining about having insomnia. You said something along the lines of, "Who ever told you that you were entitled to have a good night sleep?" I pouted over your reply briefly and then realized you were right. I'm not entitled to have a good night sleep. And being angry about something I can't control at night (or at any time, for that matter) is really not a practical way to approach life. It just makes me feel worse. Now when I wake up in the middle of the night, which is almost every night, I simply meditate until I fall asleep again, which sometimes is two or three hours later, and sometimes never.

I loved what you said in your post and I quote: "Oh, my attitude in early recovery stank. One counselor said “good morning” and I replied, “today is going to suck”. He told me to have a positive attitude. So I said, “okay, I'm positive today is going to suck”. That made me laugh.

So, well done you. You have inspired so many people over the years with your honest and steadfast ways and your great sense of humor. You have made a difference in my life. Thank you.

My best to you

Kevagne (q7)

[LobsterTank]

Bumping it up

[bobbing]

Really great post! Collosal accomplishments!

Wishing you an easy sober continuation. What is it now? 38 years?

Thanks for bumping this up LT.